From that other blog....
***
A short time ago, I started this other blog called The Upside of Down. I intended on writing about all the things in my life that have and will go wrong.
After some consideration I have decided I'd much rather stick to one blog cause, let's be honest, I don't really have time for two.
This blog, T.J. White Writes, allows me the freedom of writing what I wish. Although I am unsure as to the audience this will draw, I am sure that it will provide the outlet I need, regardless of readership.
This is an exert from my previous blog. I will not be elaborating on this post.
***
I was born a Murphy.
I am certain this imposed an automatic curse upon my very soul, despite the fact that I did not remain a Murphy for very long.
My paternal donor hit the long and winding road, or should I say the bright blue skies, for his idea of greener pastures and better beer back in England when I was just two years old.
It wasn't long before the Murphy name went with him.
Nevertheless, the damage was done; the Murphy name would haunt me for the remainder of my days.
Murphy's Law: What can go wrong, will go wrong, and does go wrong all the bloody time. This is my curse.
Ever since I can remember, shit has gone wrong. No joke. Obviously recounting the last 32 years of my life would not make for the smartest literary choice, but I can narrow it down to the "best of the best", or "worst of the worst" depending on how you look at it.
1. When I was 17 I was sitting at the table talking to my mom and jokingly told her to shut up. I stood up from the table and broke my ankle. Seriously.
2. When I was 8 I got poison ivy. The doctor said it was scabies and gave me some topical cream to apply to the patches. I had a severe reaction to the cream which, in turn, lead to blistering poison ivy and the worst week of my life.
3. When I was 27 I booked my first ever trip to the Dominican at a "five star" resort. What no one told me was that it was a brand new resort. I spent three days at the shittiest resort in Punta Cana eating bacon that tasted like tin, runny green eggs, drinks without alcohol and being gawked at as the only white person at the resort. So much for paradise.
4. When I was 28 I met a guy online. His idea of a romantic date was walking along the waterfront drinking coffee and verbally bashing his ex-wife and daughter. He told me how he'd been accused of taking his daughter to a crack house and doing ecstasy with her. If that wasn't bad enough, at the end of the walk he pulled out a miniature bottle of mouth wash, swished, gargled and spit it out at my feet before moving in for "the kiss".
5.When I was 19, my dentist told me I'd have to have my wisdom teeth removed. When I went in for my next appointment he used local anesthetic to freeze my mouth so the teeth could be extracted. This would have been great had he froze the right area and waited for the freezing to take effect. Instead he yanked my teeth out while I wriggled and writhed in pain. And yes, he is still a real dentist.
6. When I was 8 all I wanted in the whole world for Christmas was a Little Miss Make Up Doll. When Christmas morning arrived and I saw my one wish there before my eyes I was the happiest girl that ever lived. A few short weeks later we were set to fly out to England to visit family. Of course, I wasn't going to leave my beloved Little Miss Make Up behind. After two fun filled weeks in the U.K. we returned to Canada, collected our luggage at the airport and came home to unpack. But wait, there was a suitcase missing. Gone. No where to be found. Take a wild guess what was in that one missing suitcase.
7. When I was 24, I married my now ex-husband. We had purchased a thick gold band for my wedding band as I did not have a real engagement ring. During one of many arguments, I threw my hands in the air and told him he was an asshole. I am not exaggerating in the very least when I tell you that damn ring broke completely in half and fell off my finger at that very moment. To this day no one knows why. Bad omen?
8. When I was 16, I made plans to go to a friends a sneak off to a party. I had given another friend some money to get me a bottle of anything alcohol based. My mum picked me up in town and drove me to friends place where I was to spend the night and return home the next day. A few hours later and we were running down the street hailing a cab and preparing for what should have been a good night, but no. That booze I "ordered" turned out to be a quarter jar of oil and I didn't do drugs of any kind. After much to do about the mix up we finally made our way to the party only to be told my mom "knew something was up" and found out I was not where I was supposed to be. She sent to cops out looking for me.
...
I can assure you that this list has no end.
...
For the most part I have dealt with this haunting in stride. I've come to expect whatever can go wrong will go wrong; no ifs, ands or buts.
I go to restaurants and my order comes out wrong or cold or just doesn't come out at all. If I buy something, it is bound to fall apart or have some weird defect. It's just the story of my life.
But, when it's come to planning special events, getting around the Murphy curse can be difficult. Thus planning our wedding over the past year has been, shall we say, a challenge.
In this blog I plan on sharing with you the craziness that is my life. Perhaps some of you can relate, perhaps some of you will laugh. Either way, this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. No joke.
A short time ago, I started this other blog called The Upside of Down. I intended on writing about all the things in my life that have and will go wrong.
After some consideration I have decided I'd much rather stick to one blog cause, let's be honest, I don't really have time for two.
This blog, T.J. White Writes, allows me the freedom of writing what I wish. Although I am unsure as to the audience this will draw, I am sure that it will provide the outlet I need, regardless of readership.
This is an exert from my previous blog. I will not be elaborating on this post.
***
I was born a Murphy.
I am certain this imposed an automatic curse upon my very soul, despite the fact that I did not remain a Murphy for very long.
My paternal donor hit the long and winding road, or should I say the bright blue skies, for his idea of greener pastures and better beer back in England when I was just two years old.
It wasn't long before the Murphy name went with him.
Nevertheless, the damage was done; the Murphy name would haunt me for the remainder of my days.
Murphy's Law: What can go wrong, will go wrong, and does go wrong all the bloody time. This is my curse.
Ever since I can remember, shit has gone wrong. No joke. Obviously recounting the last 32 years of my life would not make for the smartest literary choice, but I can narrow it down to the "best of the best", or "worst of the worst" depending on how you look at it.
1. When I was 17 I was sitting at the table talking to my mom and jokingly told her to shut up. I stood up from the table and broke my ankle. Seriously.
2. When I was 8 I got poison ivy. The doctor said it was scabies and gave me some topical cream to apply to the patches. I had a severe reaction to the cream which, in turn, lead to blistering poison ivy and the worst week of my life.
3. When I was 27 I booked my first ever trip to the Dominican at a "five star" resort. What no one told me was that it was a brand new resort. I spent three days at the shittiest resort in Punta Cana eating bacon that tasted like tin, runny green eggs, drinks without alcohol and being gawked at as the only white person at the resort. So much for paradise.
4. When I was 28 I met a guy online. His idea of a romantic date was walking along the waterfront drinking coffee and verbally bashing his ex-wife and daughter. He told me how he'd been accused of taking his daughter to a crack house and doing ecstasy with her. If that wasn't bad enough, at the end of the walk he pulled out a miniature bottle of mouth wash, swished, gargled and spit it out at my feet before moving in for "the kiss".
5.When I was 19, my dentist told me I'd have to have my wisdom teeth removed. When I went in for my next appointment he used local anesthetic to freeze my mouth so the teeth could be extracted. This would have been great had he froze the right area and waited for the freezing to take effect. Instead he yanked my teeth out while I wriggled and writhed in pain. And yes, he is still a real dentist.
6. When I was 8 all I wanted in the whole world for Christmas was a Little Miss Make Up Doll. When Christmas morning arrived and I saw my one wish there before my eyes I was the happiest girl that ever lived. A few short weeks later we were set to fly out to England to visit family. Of course, I wasn't going to leave my beloved Little Miss Make Up behind. After two fun filled weeks in the U.K. we returned to Canada, collected our luggage at the airport and came home to unpack. But wait, there was a suitcase missing. Gone. No where to be found. Take a wild guess what was in that one missing suitcase.
7. When I was 24, I married my now ex-husband. We had purchased a thick gold band for my wedding band as I did not have a real engagement ring. During one of many arguments, I threw my hands in the air and told him he was an asshole. I am not exaggerating in the very least when I tell you that damn ring broke completely in half and fell off my finger at that very moment. To this day no one knows why. Bad omen?
8. When I was 16, I made plans to go to a friends a sneak off to a party. I had given another friend some money to get me a bottle of anything alcohol based. My mum picked me up in town and drove me to friends place where I was to spend the night and return home the next day. A few hours later and we were running down the street hailing a cab and preparing for what should have been a good night, but no. That booze I "ordered" turned out to be a quarter jar of oil and I didn't do drugs of any kind. After much to do about the mix up we finally made our way to the party only to be told my mom "knew something was up" and found out I was not where I was supposed to be. She sent to cops out looking for me.
...
I can assure you that this list has no end.
...
For the most part I have dealt with this haunting in stride. I've come to expect whatever can go wrong will go wrong; no ifs, ands or buts.
I go to restaurants and my order comes out wrong or cold or just doesn't come out at all. If I buy something, it is bound to fall apart or have some weird defect. It's just the story of my life.
But, when it's come to planning special events, getting around the Murphy curse can be difficult. Thus planning our wedding over the past year has been, shall we say, a challenge.
In this blog I plan on sharing with you the craziness that is my life. Perhaps some of you can relate, perhaps some of you will laugh. Either way, this shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. No joke.
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